Grieving is painful and hard! As I was able to process a little tonight, I decided to share what the Lord gave me. He gave me a poem and he gave me assurance: “It’s going to be ok.”
Grieving is hard and full of pain. Sometimes you can’t feel anything. Tears stream down your face and stain. Your heart is broken, the pain it stings. You can’t put your emotions into words. Your thoughts seem to be all over the place. You wonder what direction you’re moving towards. Then in the midst of chaos you find grace. The Lord touches you and gives you space. Space to process and space to grieve. Space to be held and cry with thee. He holds you tight a loving embrace. He looks at you with a smile on his face. Tragedy struck and trauma came. Along cake guilt, pain and shame. But child remember I love you the same. Yesterday, today and tomorrow. I am with in in joy and sorrow. Trust me, you are going to be ok. Though the storm is heavy and the sky is grey. Receive my love, each and every day. You don’t have to strive or try to prove. You just have to rest and simply be you. Let love overflow and heal your soul. Especially when you feel like life’s taking a toll. I suffered great losses this past week. But my God journeys with me through the hills and the peaks. I’m not alone and I’m not afraid. God is my refuge every day! He will help me through the journey of today!
Praying for you as you go through life and process hard things!
Life is hard! When you are hurting you want to be comforted. As I reflected on circumstances I’ve been through and how I’ve handled them, I was reminded that in the midst of pain it’s important to assess and ask yourself some questions:
1.) Who can and should I be vulnerable with when something happens?
2.) When is the appropriate time?
3.) What is appropriate to say?
4.) Where should you say it?
5.) How should you say it?
6.) Why are you saying it?
When anything happens in my life these are some questions I’ve used to help me process. It helps me better understand my feelings and it has helped me be a better person. It is not healthy to involve everyone in your problems. It is not healthy to gossip. It is also not healthy to hold everything inside. My prayer for everyone is that you would find safe people to journey with who can love them well. It’s important to both give and receive love. You can get through pain and circumstances. God has and is helping me through difficulty! Ask him to help you; he will help you, too!
I’ve struggled with a performance based love mentality. I crave affirmation, yet to what expense? I’m growing in my ability to receive based on who I am rather than focusing on what I can do. In order to do all that God has called me to do, I need my emotions, particularly love to be sanctified/holy. I can’t live with my identity wrapped up in anything outside of God. When I’m fully devoted and fully his without fear crippling me, paralyzing me into thinking or believing I’m not loved, I am free and the most alive I could ever be. This concept of fully embracing and giving love with no strings attached, even if unspoken, is the type of love I want to encapsulate my life. This is true love freely given and freely received.
Today, I went to the grocery store and felt like the Lord said to talk with one of the workers. I talked and was friendly and then walked away. As I walked to the aisle to get to get juice, I felt lead to go back and find the man and ask if I could pray for him. He said yes. I prayed and blessed him. The Lord lead me to tell the man that he is seen and that when it seems like no one has his back God’s there for him. He appeared very encouraged. I encourage you to bless someone today. It might feel awkward but go for it!
It’s been really hard lately. I decided to write. I hope it helps someone else.
My heart is heavy, I feel the weight
of all the years I’ve been in wait.
I thought I had patience but tested again.
I sit here wondering if and when.
I’m not trying to toil with questions unanswered
Many people are tormented with cancers
My burdens are heavy but light to the Lord
He never tires, he’s never bored
I come to him often with a heart that is torn
I ask him to mend it for I am worn
I don’t understand why pain won’t leave
I want to feel better, Lord I am grieved
I want to love, to serve and encourage
Right now Lord I am discouraged
I know I am loved, I know you are my hope
It’s just been hard to live and cope
You are my provider, my help in trouble
You pursue and continue to remove all the rubble
Lord I’m doing my best, I know you see
Thank you for choosing to love me
Help me to rest, be my strength day and night
Lord I will stand, but I need you to fight
You defeated the grave, the enemy won’t win
Jesus your blood was shed for our sins
Lord I pray for freedom and to actually feel
Like my heart, mind and body are actually healed.