Grieving

Grieving is painful and hard! As I was able to process a little tonight, I decided to share what the Lord gave me. He gave me a poem and he gave me assurance: “It’s going to be ok.”

Grieving is hard and full of pain. Sometimes you can’t feel anything. Tears stream down your face and stain. Your heart is broken, the pain it stings. You can’t put your emotions into words. Your thoughts seem to be all over the place. You wonder what direction you’re moving towards. Then in the midst of chaos you find grace. The Lord touches you and gives you space. Space to process and space to grieve. Space to be held and cry with thee. He holds you tight a loving embrace. He looks at you with a smile on his face. Tragedy struck and trauma came. Along cake guilt, pain and shame. But child remember I love you the same. Yesterday, today and tomorrow. I am with in in joy and sorrow. Trust me, you are going to be ok. Though the storm is heavy and the sky is grey. Receive my love, each and every day. You don’t have to strive or try to prove. You just have to rest and simply be you. Let love overflow and heal your soul. Especially when you feel like life’s taking a toll. I suffered great losses this past week. But my God journeys with me through the hills and the peaks. I’m not alone and I’m not afraid. God is my refuge every day! He will help me through the journey of today!

Praying for you as you go through life and process hard things!

True Love

I’ve struggled with a performance based love mentality. I crave affirmation, yet to what expense? I’m growing in my ability to receive based on who I am rather than focusing on what I can do. In order to do all that God has called me to do, I need my emotions, particularly love to be sanctified/holy. I can’t live with my identity wrapped up in anything outside of God. When I’m fully devoted and fully his without fear crippling me, paralyzing me into thinking or believing I’m not loved, I am free and the most alive I could ever be. This concept of fully embracing and giving love with no strings attached, even if unspoken, is the type of love I want to encapsulate my life. This is true love freely given and freely received.

Grocery Store Blessing

Today, I went to the grocery store and felt like the Lord said to talk with one of the workers. I talked and was friendly and then walked away. As I walked to the aisle to get to get juice, I felt lead to go back and find the man and ask if I could pray for him. He said yes. I prayed and blessed him. The Lord lead me to tell the man that he is seen and that when it seems like no one has his back God’s there for him. He appeared very encouraged. I encourage you to bless someone today. It might feel awkward but go for it!

Truth For You

I see a bolt of lightning bursting forth

I hear God speak to each of you worth

Just as God knows every grain of sand

He knows you when no one understands

He’s the God of hope and salvation

He’s the source of life for every nation

He never authors condemnation

He’s a loving God and very patient

When you don’t know what to do, he’s always near. Give him all your worries and fears.

Call to him he’ll always hear

He always has a listening ear

He may not respond the way you desire but keep seeking him, he never grows tired

When it’s hard to rest and sleep at night

When during the day you’re tired of the fight

Ask him to give you insight

To illuminate your eyes with his sight

He loves you, let this truth sink in

Ask him to come, to dwell within

Ask him to show you how to forgive

It will liberate you, life it will give

You’re an overcomer, he wants you to live

Life abundant, always with him!

Raw

It’s been really hard lately. I decided to write. I hope it helps someone else.

My heart is heavy, I feel the weight
of all the years I’ve been in wait.
I thought I had patience but tested again.
I sit here wondering if and when.
I’m not trying to toil with questions unanswered
Many people are tormented with cancers
My burdens are heavy but light to the Lord
He never tires, he’s never bored
I come to him often with a heart that is torn
I ask him to mend it for I am worn
I don’t understand why pain won’t leave
I want to feel better, Lord I am grieved
I want to love, to serve and encourage
Right now Lord I am discouraged
I know I am loved, I know you are my hope
It’s just been hard to live and cope
You are my provider, my help in trouble
You pursue and continue to remove all the rubble
Lord I’m doing my best, I know you see
Thank you for choosing to love me
Help me to rest, be my strength day and night
Lord I will stand, but I need you to fight
You defeated the grave, the enemy won’t win
Jesus your blood was shed for our sins
Lord I pray for freedom and to actually feel
Like my heart, mind and body are actually healed.