Dancing Daughter

This poem was written when God was speaking to me about being a child, a daughter. This painting was done by a friend during worship. As I looked at it, God downloaded the poem that follows the picture.A girl dancing joyful and free. She’s joyful because she knows her identity. Her Father loves her, says dance with me. Delighted she says, anything for thee! As she dances she praises and sings. Her feet move to his melody. Her eyes open she finally sees. The world from her Father’s view. She sees herself loved and renewed. She says Father I want to always see, from heaven’s perspective will you do that for me?. The Father says child thanks for asking me. From this day forward you will always see. Now go release what I’ve given to you. Go help others see my view. Then come back and dance for me. I love seeing you happy and free!

Child or Slave

Although I grew up loving God, I always felt like I couldn’t do enough for him and that I didn’t deserve his love. I don’t know exactly why, but I struggled to receive God’s love for me. For many years, God has been teaching me how to be his daughter and that I don’t have to fear, live like a slave.

What does it mean to be a child not a slave. I feel quit timid and not very brave. Can I enter the court of my glorious king? Do I have anything to offer, anything to bring? I’m taught to just come as I am. I want to just run into his hands. But will he be mad, upset with me? I could have done more for my wondrous king. He gave his life to set me free. Yet I sin and don’t simply rest in his wings. I feel like a failure, I don’t understand. I’m afraid God will speak to me and reprimand. I so desire love and to understand what that means. But God sometimes I wonder if that’s only a dream. What does love look like even today. Will you redeem that word for me some day? Love seems to be something that flickers inside my heart. I love other people, but often it seems life is dark. I don’t want to associate with sin’s hideous mark. But how do I love myself like you love me? Do others love me though I seem to mess up constantly? I said too much, I didn’t say enough. I don’t want to hurt others, I don’t want to be rough. God I’m still learning how to speak. I want to stay disciplined and always seek. Lord I ask you trembling feeling dumb. But I want to know so I humbly come. Will you teach me the joys of being a daughter? Will you hold me close and be there for me Father? Are you proud of me, is that wrong for me to ask? I just want to do my best for you in every task. I know I’m not perfect, but will you help me to see, that you love me Father, you really love me!

 

A Quick Prayer, I Know God Cares

There are some days that I find that I am scared. Sometimes I wonder if God really hears my prayers. I’m thankful that in my hurt and pain, that God calls me beloved, he calls me by my name. He tells me that I don’t have to live in shame. God I want to keep growing and becoming more like you. I don’t want to look at life as something I just have to get through. I want to love and show others what it means to be kind. No matter what happens, I want to be a light that shines. God help me, be with me today. It’s you oh Lord that I want to obey. I love you Lord, I know you really care. Thank you for hearing all my prayers!

He Is With Us

What do you do when a loved one dies? What about when cancer strikes someone you love? What do you do when you lose a job or don’t have the money to pay the bills? These are questions that often coincide with doubt and fear, anger and bitterness. These questions strike our emotions at the core. It makes us question why we are here and what are purpose is. How are we supposed to keep going when things look so bleak?.

I’ve watched friends die of cancer. I’ve watched others recover. I’ve watched people lose jobs and watched others succeed. I’ve also watched countless people overcome tragedies and addictions and become stronger on the other end. When I am struggling with doubt, fear, anger and bitterness I find myself turning to the Bible.

The Bible is filled with countless times of how God provided in the midst of trials. He didn’t always come through the way people expected and often it was not on their time. People could point to countless stories asking why did God let that happen. I can’t answer those questions, but I can say that when I read the Bible I see his provision from start to finish.

God can use anything even tragedy to touch this world in a positive way. There are many stories I could reference, but for now I will reference Joseph. He was sold into slavery by his brothers and put into prison in a foreign land. Years later God used him to save a region and his family. God used what the enemy meant for evil for good. If you asked Joseph today I’m sure he would say for years he suffered great anguish and loss, but at the end of his life he would say it was worth it. There are others in mentioned in Hebrews 11 that were not worthy of this earth.

People have suffered horrendous, imaginable tragedy and death. I’m sorry for the pain you have experienced. My prayer is that you turn to God for comfort and ask him to help you through your pain. He will meet you where you are at. I can’t say he will show up in the way you want him to or speak the words you want to hear, but he will not leave you.

God loved the world and sent his Son, Jesus to the earth as a man. He was perfect and died and paid the debt of all the wrongs (sin) mankind did and would do. He rose from the dead on the third day. Though Jesus is not here on earth today, the Holy Spirit is available to all who believe. If you believe the statements I wrote above, ask the Holy Spirit to come into your life. He will guide you throughout life. He is your direct connection to God. You can actually talk to God, he likes it. He wants to have a relationship with you.

The band Love and the Outcome have a song called “He is With Us” that has helped me when I can’t “feel” God and it seems he is a million miles away. In Proverbs 3:5-6 it says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.”

Seasons

Depending on where you live you may have experienced all 4 season in the natural: spring, summer, fall and winter. But whether you have experienced these climates in the natural, we all have experienced them emotionally!

I’ve played sports and been cruising along reaping benefits from hours of hard work like in the fall season. Then all of a sudden I experienced an injury and suddenly found myself in winter. Winter seemed to last a long time when surgeries were required or I had to rehab for months. But as I healed I found myself in spring, feeling hope again and looking forward to life back in full swing. This is one example of how I’ve related to seasons emotionally and physically.

There are so many different things I could relate back to seasons: family, jobs, education, etc… What I want to focus on for the remainder of this post is reminding you that you can learn a lesson in every season. I’m not saying you will or have to enjoy every season. However, difficult times do bring perspective and when you are on the other side you can look back and see how you grew. Finding things to be thankful for has helped me through some of the hardest times. Choosing to celebrate small victories helped me. To this day, I try to set small goals each day to help me move towards larger ones.

No matter what season you are in I want you to know you are loved for who you are and that you can make a difference. I hate pain, but I love being on the other side and cheering people on as they conquer their own battles. Don’t give up! You can face another day!

Keep Going!

Life is filled with ups and downs. Sometimes I feel I’m going to drown. Something inside of me says just keep going. Though it is hard, you are growing. I know what it’s like to be plagued by pain. I know what it’s like to hope for a sunny day. We all are faced with difficult news, how we react and deal with it, we choose. It’s ok that sometimes you are sad. I want to empower you and remind you, you can. You can get back up and face your fears. You can cry and let out tears. Remind yourself of how far you’ve come. Remember it takes time to train and run. Life is a marathon not a sprint. There will be times of pain when all you do is wince. But there are times where you will grin, and when through the trial, celebrate the win. Don’t give up, fight till the end. Keep going, you can do it my friend.

Transition

In a time of transition so much is changing and there is a lot of logistics and emotions to process. As I work through my own transitional season, I found myself writing this poem. When I read it, it encourages me and gives me hope. I pray it does the same for you.

Lord thank you for loving me where I am. Thank you for being both the lion and the lamb. God you chose to love me before the beginning of time. You speak to me daily and tell me, “You are mine.” Life has been hard and I struggle to understand, why it’s hard to keep going, why it’s hard to stand. 

Life isn’t always easy to talk about. It’s full of pain and often what accompanies is doubt. Why did this happen God; life isn’t fair. The pain is deep inside of me; do people even care? I know that only you can heal the wounds that are so deep. I know that you are with me, when all I can do is weep. 

When I say yes to God I have peace amidst the noise. Following God isn’t always an easy choice. Logically my brain wants to follow the normal path. But I realized following God doesn’t always follow math.” Lord it’s hard to walk by faith when you’re misunderstood. When in my mind I contemplate the would, the could, the should. 

The only way I know how to face my fear. Is to trust God, for I know his voice I hear. People went before me who were mocked and ridiculed. Unfortunately, people can sometimes be cruel. I don’t know how to explain, but his peace it gives me fuel. God is alive and miracles don’t follow human rules. 

I don’t know how to explain what I’m going through right now. I don’t have all the answers; I don’t know how. But I pray for courage and opportunities to arise. I know God knows my pain and that he has heard my cries. 

I pray for courage to walk by faith and not by sight. I know the Holy Spirit will guide me, be my comfort day and night. When I am discouraged I remember all that God has done, and that he loved us all so very much that he sent his only Son. I know God will help me when I make mistakes. Following God’s voice is a risk I choose to take. 

God is my hope; he will not leave, even when I feel alone. My hope is built on Christ the rock; he is my cornerstone.